“Life simply responds to your confidence levels. Discover security in your self, and you will find what used to bother you is a vapid void of nothingness” – ME, NADIA ARAIN – THE SPARTANITE
A large chunk of doing confidence and empowerment work, be it in magickal rituals for people to shift their inner state, to mentoring them – getting into the heart of their challenges and providing guidance and support – this situation has come up, over and over and OVER again. So much so, I wanted to sit on my kitchen table and write this today.
MANY a time, I have witnessed incredibly smart and talented people not hit their potential, due to impostor syndrome AKA “who the hell am I do be XYZ?”. I am going to write this blog from a 2 sided coin, one unhealed and one healed to give you the perspective of what is going on.
When our bank is NOT filled by our primary caregivers (parents/guardians), as kids – we end up a leaky bucket. It gets worse as we get older. We have deep self loathing, hatred, neglect, and, rejection of ourselves. This is why people generally find nice men and women, “weird”. It is not their pleasantry that is off-putting, rather on the contrary. It is their LACK of BELIEF in themselves, that oozes systemically from each pore God bequeathed upon their skin.
Now, what happens when you get into the world as an adult with those crippling broken heart, mind, and, soul state of “I am not good enough”? People desperately self-medicate. They don’t drink, do drugs, and, sleep around because it’s fun as much as it’s an escape from the utter emotional painscape that is going on INSIDE. Over time, they become numb and that numbness is easier to deal with than to really rage, feel, scream, cry, and, feel despair and agony over loss, predominantly. I fully believe that when we are an endless well of depth and emotion, and we are finally SEEN – ANY type of shift, can send someone into a tailspin.
How do I know this?
I have experienced it myself.
UNHEALED VERSION :
If you struggle with self-doubt (you’re lying if you come here and say NOT ME) LOL – because every single person on this planet struggles with doubt in their capacity over something, you’re not alone. The first thing, is to allow yourself to feel what comes up and not to rationalise it. This is utterly worst for Gemini, Aquarius, Capricorn, and, Virgo placements (I have all!) as Mercury likes to rationalise feelings away. Do NOT do this. It is OKAY you feel shit and not good inside to begin with. Allow yourself to feel this, and know that you’re capable of doing whatever you desire, it is YOU that is in your own way to start with. Start slow, and always return back to the past successes you’ve had, meter yourself from there. The biggest courage you’re going to give yourself – is to TRY. Every step of the way, be PROUD you’re taking the steps, no matter how tiny or scary – you really can do it 🙂
Sometimes, I go to hot yoga after a long interim and in 15 mins, I am sat on the mat crying because my body is in agony after not moving dynamically for so long. As each session moves forward, I begin to shed fat and feel proud I can move that little increment more in a stretch. One day, I totally squatted on one leg, the other crossed over it with my arms behind me. I was shocked months of practice had got me here, and I want you to know that each day is that hot yoga for you too. Cry and scream – just keep going.
Each step you’re taking means so much and I never want you to give up on yourself!
HEALED VERSION :
No matter what you do, you cannot help someone who has low esteem to see their worth because all tenets begin from the SELF. It is not your job to fill in the emotional voids and holes people have.
As your own worth rises, you will begin to embody a healthy and healed version of yourself. You can tell a person with low esteem that you think they are amazing and brilliant (and honestly, they probably really are!), however UNTIL and UNLESS that shift begins INSIDE, nothing will move. People who have low esteem are a tricky challenge because they are looking for mirroring validation in someone, anyone – and when they receive it, any perceived slight and it will be a deep offense because it is taken as a reflection of their LACK of self WORTH. What they accept in life, in hidden areas – will reveal so much about them. Just observe and keep it moving.
You see, esteem is that bank of deservingness and that deservingness in this world is so low, that when someone treats someone nicely – it is overwhelming for them. I am healed today writing this to you, but I also know what it’s like to have NO esteem, let alone low esteem. I’d cry if someone bought me a cup of coffee once upon a time and today, the respect I have for myself is through years of CONSISTENT deep therapy and hard black magick that has healed me. You will wonder how on EARTH you settled or tolerated so little and you will come to have patience and compassion for those in the unhealed, just as you once were – trying. I know people’s lack of worthiness will subconsciously be very off-putting to you because you’re not in that energy anymore.
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It goes back to why I say confidence is so delectable and attractive. It gives people the peace of mind that you will not require a tonne of reassurance and will not fall apart, should something happen. People do not want to feel bad and held responsible for your emotional wounding YOU have not healed. This is a SOLAR PLEXUS issue. When my solar was damaged and cracked, it was leaking worthiness energy, so in a sense I’d NEED people to reaffirm and validate me and I was doing it in very funny ways I could easily hide away by saying “I care about people”.
Patiently, with magick, I healed my solar and do it for many clients.
Your solar plexus has a little energetic “net” around it. When the net is tight, you feel strong and confident within yourself. You have boundaries, standards, and, self-respect and this is felt by everyone. When the net is a bit loose, you often end up in the self doubt area, confused, dazed, and, wallowing in self-pity about “everyone does this to me, no one loves me” etc etc.
I have enjoyed tightening my own net, and I endeavour you do as well.. You will be amazed where you may be leaking your personal power and worthiness and how you can reclaim it for fast empowerment.
Esteem Empire Healing – because all self-esteem begins from inside
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