This is a very difficult thing for most people to do. We, (especially as women) are told in Society, that it is wise to bleat like a sheep and gain approval from others. It is wise to be able to put others first. Now, here is not to say that you need to become a selfish, self-centered conceited asshole. But what you DO need to keep in check, is keeping yourself first. It is incredibly sad I have to write this for women because women wonder why people treat them like shit and then do not even look at how they treat themselves.
This is the sad story why a bastard and a bitch, often get ahead. People do not cross them because they do not get starry eyed over someone else’s presence. I, abhor traits of selfishness and yet I always promote self-love (yes, that type too!) because how can you model love and boundaries to anyone else, when you do not have them for yourself. I have been guilty of giving my power away to abusive, toxic people all through my life, because NO ONE told me how to retain power for self.
It is the anti-thesis of Power Subjugation. The opposite of those who wish to see you miserable and suffering. It is the true manifestation of both masculine and feminine energies, blending to make a powerful, yet balanced individual. Both men and women are damaged, go on to have children, and in the process, damage them too — until one wise soul puts a rightful stop to it and empowers self.
So how do you put yourself first?
Find out what your goals are, and then find out the price you are willing to pay in order to achieve them.
It may sound simple, and yet, there is so much simplicity of Truth, in this statement. Most people hang on to things, people and circumstances that are holding them back, because they are comfortable. Granted there may not be time or it may not BE time to move on, be very cautious of how things move on a timeline for you.
When it comes to looking at things from a Spiritual angle, no one cares about Fire energy, unless it is tempered with Earth energy. For example, if you are an Aries Rising, Aries Sun and yet do not have enough Earth in your chart, you will NOT get work done. Aries, is a VERY flash in the pan (fire Martian energy) type of sign, and whilst these people are exceptional starters, they often do not finish most things off. Being the head of the Zodiac, there is a certain smugness about this sign, I have often found. This isn’t an Aries bashing, it comes to me as I type things out.
I would HIGHLY recommend having all the 4 elemental balance. I have very little Water in my chart, so emotions are something I often deal with “later”. I can completely not feel anything with Air, Fire and Earth being in my chart and only when I may take time out, do the emotions even come out. I process them, feel them and then jump right back in. Some people, are the total opposite, They live in their feelings (which I can understand) and then do not get anything done.
Both things are dangerous and need to be addressed.
I come back to my point. In order to learn how to live life best, put yourself first, trash and bin out anything not in your highest good and keep living.