Success, is a conjuring word.
In essence, it CONJURES many images in the mind.
As a collective, you’re led to believe you are only successful if you have a big house, drive a “socially approved car” (has to be of Luxury make or no bueno…?), wear a certain style of clothing that is threaded in fine fabric, eat at Michelin star winery (and dining), not to mention buy expensive “things” that make you look and feel relevant. Also known as BE PRETENTIOUS BECAUSE WELL, WELL — WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? ……..
How can you have so much money and shop, drive, be, — average?
Peer pressure is a bitch, a drug, and, a cage.
Don’t let the trappings of wealth, trap YOU…
My initial title of this was going to be What Is Success, and yet I realised Success, is a prototype of what you’re meant to be or look like. Many moons ago, I was driving and shot a quickie video on How to Be YOU and be Successful and I had some real interesting feedback on it. You can find it by clicking this link. It reminded me of a time where I was in South East Asia on travels, and staying at an award winning “luxury” resort and I would go in and eat breakfast and lunch in harem pants and a t-shirt. I remember getting into a conversation with a lifeguard at the pool, telling me about his girlfriend and his studies — and he said something I have always carried with me for years. He was young but a clever cookie and we spoke about many things. The next part is a running conversation however I have shortened it down.
“You know, so many women come to this poolside area all fancied and dressed up wanting male attention and we see it — we are men, of course. — yes they are enjoying their vacation and we always see you here doing some strange stuff. By strange, you’re just being yourself instead of what women who think they are so important, are meant to be doing.
You don’t sit here and take random photos of yourself, you’re not rude to us, you don’t throw yourself at any man or lifeguard, you’re sitting quietly with your drink and your toes in the pool. You aren’t showing off your expensive sunglasses or your perfect body in a tight small bikini, some times I just see you in a pair of shorts sitting on the actual beach and you’re singing to yourself which is funny to watch, the last time my colleague heard you singing baa baa black sheep to yourself and the little boy whose mom left him with you when she went to use the bathroom and clapping standing in the Ocean (he was laughing saying this part) — but I want to ask you one thing, if you don’t mind..
How are you so comfortable just being yourself? Does it never bother you to be so different? Do you never think what people will think of you? Have you ever wanted to fit in? My girlfriend is constantly worried what other people think of her! I keep telling her not to worry. What do you do back home where you’re from?”
If it isn’t the age old problem of approval seeking, rearing it’s head again.
If you’re not “socially approved”, you’re not successful. Socially approved Success, is being boastful about your success, because — how DOES everyone KNOW you’re a success if you’re not on the rooftop, pina colada in tow — with the megaphone I AM SUCCESSFUL, LOOK AT ME AND VALIDATE ME — ever going to work? (answers on a postcard..or I don’t know; Instagram DM for the cool folk these days…?)
A man being successful has to be a hot shot big bastard of an asshole, up his own ass, telling people what he has and sneering down at people to “fit in” and a woman needs to hold a Birkin Hermes tote, with heels she cannot walk in, makeup that her skin is yelling at her not to wear, and squeezing herself into clothes that won’t fit (so here she is starving herself for the 5th time in a row with whatever boring diet of the month she’s on, so some man fancies her…?) with the “boss bitch” attitude about a “strong, empowered” woman.
God forbid her hair got wet at the pool or she lost a nail…clear the tables, someone is about to have a meltdown as her cosmetic surgery cost too much for this, right?…..
Or maybe, she can be AS IS and figure out that Barbie, whilst a sweetie — is a plastic dolly who doesn’t have period cramps, bad hair days, or devastating emotional heartbreaks… and have the courage to be HERSELF.
And the man? Nope, not allowed to take a day off to rest in his life. Men don’t rest, didn’t you know?! They are all hustlers, signing the next big deal, shaking hands with the glitterati and proving how much of a man they are. A man needs to prove his masculinity, how much of a provider he is. A man? At the spa enjoying himself? Meditating? Relaxing? What nonsense is this? What type of “man” does this? Men need to be on the GET SHIT DONE otherwise — uh oh, maybe other men whose masculinity is so fragile will work out, that OH MY GOD, erm — THIS MAN IS A *GASP*…
…WHO NEEDS TIME TO LOVE HIMSELF, ENJOY HIMSELF, REST, SELF-SOOTHE, AND TELL HIMSELF THAT HE IS WORTHY, VALUABLE, AND, SPECIAL.
It’s the mould of fakeness. That mask that most people desperately wear, in order to be accepted as Successful. When you do NOT subscribe to what is desired and required of you in the success stakes, people will look at you weird and think of you as an oddball as many do with me. I don’t “fit” the mould of being a success and people are often surprised and confused when they connect my face to Sparty. Success has a face, and you had better subscribe to it, if you want the maskies (it’s what I call it) to take you seriously. Except, those who wear these heavy masks don’t take THEMSELVES seriously. Which is why they lack genuine friends, genuine Love, and genuine PEOPLE in their life. A genuine person will make every effort to approach you on an open stance however a guarded heart is easily seen, and you simply won’t allow good people into your life. So we walk away. personally, if I miss someone — I tell them. If I love someone, I tell them. I call a spade, a spade — I have seen far too much loss in life to pretend play on things to keep an acceptable facade. If me telling someone that I miss them, scares them — then that is on them, and not on me.
You get zero right to complain that you cannot see genuine people when you, yourself have a 50 foot wall high, don’t engage in any emotional conversations because you hate your own emotions (yeah, we see ya..), and push people away because “ew” emotions? Who has time to deal with THEM? Urgh, we just want to be a human looking (ish) robot and want people to try with us and keep trying even when we have changed the combination safe passcode a million times because being OPEN is too scary for us. We were hurt too much and now NO ONE is getting in.
But you still want someone IN, don’t you?
Someone to really love YOU, ——you crave and cherish it, don’t you?
The real energy Signature of Success, is being honest with yourself and doing the emotional work. Because all financial success has deep lasting threads into your psyche, your emotions that you’ve desperately drank the 2nd bottle of wine to avoid, and your ability to receive nice things from people no matter how fucked up and crazy your past.
Success, comes at a price in life. It comes with being clear about your goal, and having the courage to deconstruct your story around it — that very story that you keep telling yourself.
I can’t have this money because X
I can’t fall in love because X
I don’t deserve a good partner in life because — whatever, X
I cannot do this or that, etc.
I can’t, won’t, shan’t, cannot, will not, won’t not (lol I’m on a roll 😀 )… X
You are worthy of Success AS YOU ARE. If masks suit you better, Spartanite Blog isn’t your bookmarked page or hanging out in the URL section. It’s an annoyance for you and your ego.
However, if you’re willing to finally keep embracing all the parts of you that comprises of your madness, psychosis, insanity, and, all the weirdo parts you hide to be accepted, you’ve found your permanent home.
When you really know how to play the game in life, you will know if the table you’re sat at calls for a power wrangle, or a wrangle of picking yourself up, and leaving.
Because only YOU can allow the light in, the love in, the happiness, peace, and, sanity.
We can only illuminate the way 🙂
For SERIOUS mentoring inquiries, spiritual/business consultations, writing projects and custom ritualistic work, feel free to reach out to me for assistance.