Writing is a form of alleviating madness.
All my written work is the ORIGINAL agent provocateur, not in a sense of lawlessness however; it forces you to THINK. Your life can TRANSFORM if you choose to face yourself. These type of posts I make, are NOT for everyone, I certainly don’t intend them to be as such.
Words, in order to change– should possess 3 qualities.
PEACE, HUMILITY WITH GRACE, AND, PRIMAL POWER.
When people write arrogantly claiming they are “the best” or whatever — sure they can be. But realistically, who cares anything of you or your work until you are able to touch a heart to it’s CORE? You are not weak for crying, for feeling, for not being able to sleep at night, for having anxiety, low moods, depression, confusion, and the pacing restless thoughts that you have an image to keep up. You are not weak because you are truly struggling and struggling cannot be glossed up in your Instagram filter with your cherry picked hashtags to garner stimulated interest, although at least most people subscribe to that fallacy based thinking.
You are not weak because you don’t know the next step but society forces you to pretend like you do. You are not weak because your emotions look like they want to strangle you alive on most days. You are not weak because you absorb people’s emotions and cannot stand to be around energy vampires. You are not weak because you’re fed up of this world. You’re not weak because you’re exhausted of people being nasty, mean, and, cruel to each other. You are not weak because you feel.
YOU ARE HUMAN BECAUSE YOU DO.
IT TAKES GUTS AND COURAGE TO FEEL, TO LOVE FREELY AND BOLDLY AFTER SO MUCH HURT, TO CRY, TO LAUGH FROM THE HEART, TO SPEAK WITH CANDOR, TO ADDRESS ALL THE PINK, PURPLE, AND WHITE ELEPHANTS IN THE ROOM.
But facing yourself, is another problem, isn’t it?….
Many people are mad, however they hide their madness out of shame and to curry PUBLIC APPROVAL. They fear someone will call them “crazy” and the assorted cousins like psycho, weird — or whatever.
I do not write censored blogs because I do not live a censored life and that is both exciting and terrifying to an average person.
I am one of those people who openly declares it as hiding doesn’t work for me, has built an entire company around it, and, furthermore; take it in stride. Madness, has often worked in my favour. Recently, a friend and I decided to talk at the ungodly witching hours of the dark morning about a topic both of us have individually reflected on.
Why do people talk so much and yet, say so little?
Most people talk for the sake of talking. Words hold little meaning for people who possess accesses to platforms and can spout out anything their heart and fingers typing desire, to scratch the anxious itch of having their voice out THERE, in a sea of lunacy, stupidity, and, noise. VERY FEW PEOPLE who talk have anything REAL AND SUBSTANTIAL to remark upon, as both of those independent variables, simply mean — HAVING LIVED. Most people masturbate to the fantasies of LIVING. Even those who possess means of access through financial resources, travel, or, what not. Experience is an erotic current that JOLTS YOU ALIVE when you feel someone speak about it, because the truth is a sucker punch that is neither polite and nor does it fit in your little box of convenience. So you find your mind revisiting this truth, this strange person, who showed you something you may have never thought of…
Those who are looking for their own independent path of life, DO NOT HAVE ROLE MODELS IN THIS AREA.
What they DO however have, is a motivational bullshit speech about “how you can live your best life” and other shiny cute sheep hivemind (let me not exhaust myself here….) soundbites that make them sound RELEVANT…. and then you wonder why you think women like ME, sound like we are from Neptune or something? (Neptune got it’s own flex, ya dig..?)
People know how IRRELEVANT their whole ENTIRE life is, which is why they try so DESPERATELY TO GARNER APPROVAL FROM OTHERS. THEY KNOW IT. Few on this planet understand humanity anymore, because few humans are QUALIFIED TO BE ADDRESSED AS HUMAN ANY LONGER.
4 years ago, I was driving in a car I long let go off. It was a mess. But I was glad I had something to drive. I drove from one side of London to another in one of the most deepest pain a human can endure. My entire journey was me wiping away tears that wouldn’t stop. I am not one of those women who cry those cute “government sponsored” tears women are supposed to cry — little tissue in hand, dabbing away at my left eye trying to look polite about it. I have always wondered how to look civil whilst crying. (If someone works it out — drop me a note!) When I cry, I look like a banshee who was let free from the cage, all guns blazing. The life I have today, is something I could have only dreamed about. I didn’t even know it existed. I just sort of HOPED I could have it. That is HOW FAR BEYOND “NORMAL” it once looked for me. And many people are TODAY where I once was — and looking at EVERYTHING in this world and thinking “nothing can help me”. And they are right.
Because lies cannot help you. If you are your OWN PERSON, most things cannot help you — let’s be honest about it.
They placate and feed your ego but they starve your soul, and the malnourishment shows. That is why you are darting from one useless date to the next, one programme, one course, one business, one this and that. Your SPIRIT KNOWS WHAT IS INFRONT OF YOU IS A LIE. So you’re consistently ANXIOUS AND AGITATED (and don’t know why…)
When you eat chemically processed junk, you are still hungry. When the body receives PROPER food, you eat like a starved animal because the body knows. When you sleep with someone minus deep love, the body is satisfied but the soul is EMPTY. When you are with someone boring and placid, you are DISINTERESTED, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE, THIS MAN OR WOMAN IS NOT KEEPING YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS UP and you KNOW you are cheating yourself.
YOU DESIRE AND DEEPLY CRAVE LOVE IN THE PERSON YOUR MIND KEEPS GOING BACK, TO. The heart is clever, he or she KNOWS the truth. It is only your own programmed mind that tells you, otherwise.
Many people come to this blog expecting me to write the way most people write. So then they are all disappointed and think it is rude and mannerless because I haven’t waved some sort of magic wand, and POOF, you have your cure. Manners in today’s society often means “don’t rock the boat”. Good manners mean you are considerate of other people’s thoughts in reference to decorum and have a professional and polite manner. It doesn’t mean you’re silent in the face of injustices and foolishness.
The cure, is the in the dirty, ugly, nasty work — the emotions you keep shutting away and the shame you keep feeling — but mano o mano, let’s not talk about that — because we will “lose our following”. The truth doesn’t clout it’s jam. It has its own BIG DICK ENERGY — irrelevant of gender. It comes in as a hurricane, and leaves as a storm. It doesn’t need your pencil pusher approval of if it is “LIKED” or not.
It doesn’t water its self down, it doesn’t check for “metrics” to look popular because it doesn’t CARE. Most people desire immense amounts of validation that their “lifestyle” is what people should be approving, bragging about, and, sponsoring up.
It is easy to talk a lot and sell someone a dream. Dreams are easily bought by the naive, starry eyed, and, emotionally/mentally immature. They are bought because it goes back to my topic of APPROVAL. “If i just wear/do/say/be THIS — people will love me”. When you see people’s MESSAGING change over the years in their brand (copywriter or not) — it is because they were looking to slant towards what looks popular so it can make instant profit for them. I cannot help many people in this world. I cannot help people who are adjusted to this sick society and don’t give a fuck of doing so. I cannot liberate the mentally and spiritually enslaved.
However in all of my LIFE posts — as this one, I write for those who FEEL AND YET NOT ONLY FEEL THE SHAME OF FEELING, THE CONFUSION OF WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONS. I don’t write for those who are fake, and who have fake lab plant grown emotions like the government sponsored tears I spoke about and the masks they push on everyone these days, that are executed on command. I don’t write for robots, for sheep, for the unthinking, for the cowards, for the tyre kickers, the ass lickers. I write for the daring, bold, brave, few individuals who still possess sanity in a planet gone buck wild mad as a confirmation that sanity still exists. I write for CONFIRMATION for people who think like me, but they hide away.
I write to express myself and I write for all those who enjoy reading my work, some upon request, and some upon the shadows who watch. I write for those who have EXPERIENCED LIFE, LIFE, LIFE, LIFE — not the poolside view that your 50th Instagram story of the week wants to capture to make your ego feel important (and don’t we all have that side to us…)
There is no talking about life experience.
It is called experience for a reason.
IT HAS TO BE LIVED.
And you cannot satisfy hunger with taping sandwiches to your body. You cannot listen to those who have never lived, upon providing you the courage to feel ALL of your emotions, and feel no shame for indulging in your own delightful madness.
Because madness, is delightful once you get up close and personal.
That’s why so many people run from LOVE….
LOVE is the EPICENTRE OF DIVINE WORSHIP GONE MAD….
And we can’t let anyone see you looking “less than perfect”…now can we 😉 ?…………….